I went to my cupboard and what did I see? (to the theme of 5 little monkeys)
A bunch of unused samples staring at me
Biore Porestrips right behind the door
Does anyone even use that stuf anymore?
Right next to it
A packet of Skin-boosting-night serum
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“WOW” at the beginning of 98.2% of my comments
I say “just sayin” way too much
I totally overuse the little winky-face thing 
. Yeh like that. People are gonna start thinking I’m a perv
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You may already know this, but I am a FTWM. No, that doesn’t mean Fat-Tush-Wannabe-Millionaire (although it’s true).
It’s Full Time Workin Mama.
Blogger/writter by kinda day-kinda-night (or in my case 5 effing a.m or 9 effing p.m) and Sales Associate Maven by day. I leap tall on-line orders in a single bound. I can crack the code of The Secret Of Which Shredder to Buy, sell you a kick-ass chairmat, and spout off the page yield of your ink cartridge with ease. And do it with sweetness and style that can make even the biggest crabass customer smile.
It’s a gift. Don’t hate.
I dress smartly. I color coordinate. I have great bling and I even wear Name Brands.
“Look sharp. Feel Sharp” is my mantra.
Put me on a committee, I’ll rock it. Give me a sales goal, I’ll beat it. Ask my opinion, Gawd help ya, you’ll get it. I’m am wiser than the Geico Gecco, and cuter than the AFLAC Duck. Monday through Friday…..
I am SuperSupplyChickWoman.
And then comes Saturday.
Maybe I am wore out from all my brown nosing awesomeness during the week. Maybe I am just plain sickandtiredof the human race pooped and need a lifetime McSecond away from selling/P.R/Marketing/Social Media by Friday 5:00 p.m.
All I know is by Saturday:
1. I don’t want to see anyone (except the fam)
2. I don’t want go anywhere.
3. And my idea of fashion is whatever doesn’t itch, bind, need ironing, or take more that 30 seconds to pull on. Period. End of story.
I become SlightlyOrneyBorderlineHermitWoman.
And IF by chance I do go somewhere that requires me removing my beloved jammies, this is how I roll:
1. SWEATPANTS. Black. Just cuz “it’s slimming. ’Nuff said.
2. My favorite super-sized tee that says “Nice Days Are For Wimps”. Gotta love Halmark’s Maxine.
3. Sports Bra. I LOATHE bras. Read why here.
4. My Passion-Killer underwear. Faded Glory (or as hubs says “farted and gory”) brand Grannie Pannies
5. Makeup? CHECK. No need to scare people. It’s not Halloween yet.
6. Scrunchies and barrettes. In a pinch, a lovely stylish rubberband will do.
7. My Rock-N-Roll Shoes. They’re ugly, but they’re comfy.
8. No earrings. My ears are tired and screaming “leave me alone“. Ok, maybe they are just screaming in my head.
9. I’d love to say I shed my “technology” as well, but let’s face it. I don’t have any. Blackberry? NOPE. iPhone. NOPE. iPod? NOPE. PDA. NOPE. I got nuttin honey.
10. My fav sunglasses. I know it’s some knock-off version of a Big Name Brand, but all I know if I throw them on, with my hair pulled back in said “barrette” or “scrunchie”, I can dang-near go places incogneto. Not that I’m popular, it’s just don’t want people to know it ME looking like a homeless bag lady.
SO basically I go from this:
To THIS:
Any questions?
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I subscribe to Oprah’s Spirit Newsletter. On the days I actually have time to read the darn thing…it’s pretty good. I usually find some good info in it.
The other day her latest edition popped into my Inbox and I saw the heading “Are Your emotions running YOU?”
After having a series of tough weeks with a side order of high stress, a bathroom scale that never seems to move, and feeling at various stages of Bat Sh*t Crazy, I clicked and took The Quiz.
The Quiz was a series of questions that basically asked how I handled things. When a painful memory comes up in conversation, you are most likely to…?? You feel nervous. What is your first thought? Late at night, you wake up worried about something you need to do tomorrow. You…..?
Here’s my official results:
“Balanced
You’re doing just fine, comfortably handling the full spectrum of feelings. When something upsets you, you allow yourself to experience the pain but also take action to minimize the discomfort, which indicates your compassion and self-confidence.”
SO..according to this Oprah quiz I am “Balanced and Doing Fine.”
Although I am comforted to know Oprah thinks this highly of me (job offer?) I noticed the answers to the question “what do you do when upset” DID NOT include:
1. Medicate my ass
2. Stress eat like my ship is going down.
hmmm……wonder if that would have changed my final score at all???
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Hardcore Mommy Blogger, WAHM, & Virtual Assistant. Being a mom is The.Best.Thing.Ever & Team Family is #1. I love naps, food, social media, and encouraging other Moms to realize their work-at-home dreams.
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If the O says you are balanced, it must be so. Confucius say.
Stopping over from SITS.
Personally, I like to assume self medicating and emotional eating are already presumed in the Oprah quiz.
So, you’re good.
Following you from Fun Follow Friday. I’m posting inspiring messages on my new Facebook fan page…links below!
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Inspire/338562522284?ref=ts
http://inspiredbyron.blogspot.com/
I got that quiz in my email box. Glad I didn’t take it. I’m afraid it would have taken the ol’ mood down a notch!
Loved it!! And, I’m with you on those last two answers that the quiz didn’t have!!
Ha! I need to take that quiz so I feel better! Or maybe we could write our own . . .
Now I’m afraid… what if I ::gasp:: fail the quiz? LOL. Great post – - I need a little reassurance these days, too. -in SITStahood!
Too funny! I’m scared to take the quiz.
Erica