I am about to let you in on a little secret.
Something about me.
Something very few people know.
.
.
.
I HATE BRAS.
Seriously. Those damn things are the bane of my existence.
No, I don’t “free-boob it” I do wear something.
Sports Bras to be exact. They have been incredibly comfortable, somewhat supportive, and my fav for YEARS. And until now I’ve been happy. Why fix what’s not broken?
Franticdaddy has a special name for my bras.
It’s either “tit-smashers” or “passion-killers”….. Can’t ‘member which.
I guess you could say he’s not impressed with my lingerie selections.
BUT like I say, I’ve been perfectly happy. Well, until recently anyway. Suddenly, I’ve noticed something.
It’s My Girls. You know…The Twins, Helga and Olga. Mysteriously, they seem to be headin south. Some where towards the vicinity of my belt loops. It’s been downright perplexing.
And since I don’t what to be ‘tucking them in” with my shirts in a few years, I figured I better take action.
So I bought a Bra. A snazzy little Clearance Rack Number from Wally-World (hey, why invest a chunk of change if I’m gonna hate the damn thing, right?)
But I bought it anyway, took it home, and put it on.
I lasted two hours.
Dear LORD people! How do you STAND these things?????!!!
YET. It still can/will happen.
So what’s left?
To blog about it of course.
Hmmmmm…..Title. I need a good title for this post.
“Showdown at the Double C’s”?
“Decent into Ta-ta Tortureville”?
“A Tale of Two Titties”??
“Chaos at Boulder Holder”?
“50 Shades of Grey Bra?”
“Hark the Harried Hooter Sings”?
“Inadequate Boobage: Part Deux”?
OK peeps. Do me a solid.
Can anybody direct me to a brand of bra that doesn’t feel like a torture device?
If you can, you’ll be my new BFF (breast friend forever).
I couldn’t agree with you more about the comfort of sports bras. However, I need the extra help of a bra. I can only smash them into oblivion when working out. Otherwise, I could be seen as a man. lol
Here’s my advice. Anything that you buy on a clearance rack is going to feel similar to an iron maiden. Take your ta-tas down to Victoria Secret and get yourself a bra fitting. I strongly recommend Body by Victoria. Best bra I have ever owned. And it doesn’t turn things into a uniboob. And consider going without underwire. And do let us know how things go.
Thank you for this… I was laughing through the whole story! LOVE your blog titles… oh my goodness you cracked me up! I know what you mean, I am not the biggest fan either. Although bummer for me I have to wear one darn near 24/7. I am a milkin mama & until the last of my milk dries up I would leak like crazy if I didn’t wear one. My fav bras are Victoria Secret but seriously who wants to spend that much. My other fav is a brand called Gillian & OMalley from Target. They are totally priced right! Oh & I’ve got some BIG girls so I can’t just buy any ole bra on the rack!
http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=455177&CategoryID=51609
Hey there!! I hear (and feel) your pain! I’ve never understood how women can wear those pointy, cone-shaped things like in the 1950′s. I use Bali, style #3313. See link above. No seams, no itchys, I love ‘em…and they don’t cost so much. Not sure if you’d like them or not, but worth a test drive!
“uniboob” *giggle*snort*snort
My opinion – if your girls are bigger than a “B” you can’t buy “off the rack”. Stay away from clearance – there’s a reason those bras are there! The best (and one of the most humiliating things you can do) is get fitted. Take a trip to VS and get fitted – it will make a huge difference. Find the bra that fits best, take out a loan and buy several! Atleast then when you need to buy more you know what you need and you can just go in and pick it up.
I guess a bra fitting could be more humiliating…perhaps when you’re at the “gyno” for the annual fun visit – as long as they’re out – get a bra fitting!
Name… The Girls – gone wild!
I agree 100% with everyone. Don’t ever do clearance bras, they will rub your nipples off. Body by Victoria is excellent, comfy and cute.
I snorted reading this post! I have a lot of boobage, so I’m relegated to the land of underwire. I’ve had a professional bra fitting but was not happy with their selection. I’m a fan of Victoria’s Secret body collection (with extra padding to cover headlights!). Before the endowment grew, I used to wear a wireless bra that I bought at Vanity Fair. It had cup support, but no wire. Good luck with finding the right one for you!
I will repeat the anti-clearance rack bra advice. Actually, I am pretty much against all Walmart bras in general. I have found great (normally expensive) bras at Ross. While some may say that store is just one giant clearance rack, they get stuff from stores I couldn’t normally afford. I have extra large tatas and am loving anything made by Delta Burke. She knows bras. When I need new bras, I leave the kids at home and go to Ross to try on all bras in or around my size until I find one or two that I LOVE.
I totally feel your pain, I am nursing right now and not only are my boobs bigger then ever they are heavy and my nursing bars are made by horrible mean spirited Men, I just know it!! I would second the Victoria Secret but I have a hard time there because most of the time even when not nursing I am a DD and they don’t have a lot in store. A great place is something like Macy’s or JCPENNY where someone can fit you and look for something full coverage with wide straps, and maybe even what is called a t-shirt bra. They are usually make of nice soft material and are comfy. I hate bras too because they are pain to get them right but I do have to say that even after nursing my son for a year the DD looked good (hey they might have been uncomfortable but they got the job done)
I hate bra’s as well! They totally suck but I wear them because I have too. I hate sports bra’s even more though.
I am trying not to laugh while at work! I love this post!!! And no. I have not found a comfy gadget.
Lane Bryant T shirt bras, just bought a couple of them and I love them.
Ah, just my cup of tea. In my post, I Left My Bra in Omaha, I didn’t advertise the brand, but it came highly recommended. And, no, you can’t get it at a discount store. Some things you just gotta pay full price because when it come to undergarments, if the inside ain’t happy, the outside ain’t happy either. I bought two Wacoal bras. If you want more info, or a look-see, you know where to find me!
It costs more, but Victoria’s Secret is sooo worth the chunk of change. Comfy and they don’t produce quad-boob, or that weird cone shaped thing.
Agreed, buy a nice bra that actually fits and it is not uncomfortable. The cheap ones are cheap for a reason. Then, when you have a nice one (or three), hang dry and it will last a long time! It can be hard to find the right fit so it is super helpful to have a professional fitting. Good luck!!!
I have yet to find a bra I like. I would happily go bouncing around town, swinging like a pendulum if I didn’t think I’d get locked up…but alas, tis not to be. And i haven’t found a sports bra big enough to contain the bounty that is my chesticles. So for now, I tolerate the bra.
Ha! I have found a kindred spirit. I have hated bras ever since I started wearing them! I vote for those comfy stretchy cotton sports bras. They are the best! But I still can’t wait to get mine off when I get home!!! LOVE your blog design…very cool!
I am your newest fan!
Chris
http://absolutely–positive.blogspot.com/
Ha ha ha ha!!!! I TOTALLY agree with you, hate Bras! However, I have found some I can live with. Playtex makes some ‘inbetweeners’ kind of a mix of ‘real’ bra and sports bra. Target carries them, they are great.
Your girls will get used to them, because let’s face it, gravity is merciless.
Thanks for stopping by!
Love your blog and added you to my feed!
~Mary
Oh my gosh! I HATE bras too. Mainly because I have NO boobs but the pesky nips make themselves known so I have to wear the damn things. I reach up over my head and the bra slides up to my chin. It’s awful being flat and finding a bra that compliments your flatness without 5 inches of foam, thick wire, and some sort of gel filling to push up whatever loose skin you have and call it cleavage.
So I feel your pain, but I totally envy your boobage!
I’m sorry to say I don’t have any recommendations. Bras have never bothered me, probably because I don’t have much to put in them, so I usually just pick what’s cheapest depending on where I’m shopping.
Good luck on your quest for finding a great bra, looks like you’ve got a couple of recommendations!
P.S. Glad you stopped by. I’ve missed your blog. Must have happened in my move to WordPress around Christmas. I’ll be visiting again.
I am the same! I don’t like the tightness of bra’s and just the overall design of it. It just doesn’t seem to work, and they are very uncomfortable even with the right fitting bra. I do prefer sports bras! They are the best, and so very comfy. I also wear a lot of vests, which have like a sort of cupped version to a bra, but more like a sports bra.
Ok..hold up..maybe…um…oop..ok..
NOPE. Sorry. I still think bras SUCK!