It’s no secret we have our own lingo in the Kingdom of Tired.
I remember back (not all that long ago) when trying to conduct any conversation with non-sleep-deprived adults resulted in a lot of Whatchu say?”
That got me thinking about all the “Momfinitions” spoken in the Kingdom of Tired. Here’s a few of the funnier ones:
Mompursedrain-itis: The affliction that strikes me whenever I go to the grocery store or car repair shop lately. Can nothing be .99 anymore? (especially car repair).
MomZilla: The time of the evening, let’s say-9:45- when mom it OVER IT and turns into a two-legged version of a T-Rex.
The Snoofs: A.k.a “stuffy nose.” Most prevalent during the months of December-April.
Ninja Pooper: The small human in the house who sneaks into the bathroom with stealth and cunning, drops a BOMB…and LEAVES. Also know as the Anti-Flusher.
Double barreled runny: What most normal people would call a child’s nose during a cold. Both sides at once, mind you.
Diaper-geddon: The kind of explosive diaper that all moms dread. The kind where the PSI (poop per square inch) rivals a cannon full of oatmeal coming out at high speeds. Typically takes a pressure washer, a team of workers, and Haz-Mat suits for everyone for clean-up.
Two-Fisted Picker: The result of a prolonged Double Barreled Runny would be a Two-Fisted Picker. Apparently there is cool stuff “up in there.”
Groggy Froggies: What my kids are every morning when I have to jackhammer them out of bed (except on weekends when I get to sleep in. Then they are up by 6 a.m).
Mudslide south of the border: Tends to happen when someone in the house consumes too much corn or burritos..or both.
Screaming Like a Cornered Weasel: Basically it’s the loud squawking and back-pedaling that occurs when one of mt spawn is caught red-handed at something and trying to get out of it.
The Be-bitchin Hour: That time right before bed when my beloved chitlins are bucking the system and resisting going to bed. Usually right about 8:15 p.m
Wine-nese: The language I suddenly become fluent in as soon as the kids go to bed. From the Yellow Tail Pinot Grigio region
Unheckle Time: That quiet time after all kids are in bed and not in need of a snack, butt wipe, or general request for service….which usually lasts about 5-10 minutes…then I am unconscious in bed.
Lost in the Woods: The code word for all crappy/broken/LOUD/annoying toys that “go missing.”
Example: “Mom, where’s my screaming/flapping/shrieking gorilla toy that I like to make repeatedly squeal like a stuck hog??”
Answer: “Not sure. Must have gotten Lost in the Woods.”
Groggy Froggies is soooooo familiar.
Double barrels is what we call it too! And instead of mudslides we have blowouts! LOL!
Oh, I don’t have any to share, but now I’m going to have to think up some. How fun! I love playing with words in this way. This morning my son said, “I’m freezing hot!” I love those kinds of word manipulations too — the unintended kind.
Thanks for being so kind to stop by my blog. I am like you, most of the time — one tired mama! Too many late nights trying to keep up with what I can’t do during the day.
Love ‘release the beast’ we use that too and ‘double barreled runny’, hilarious, I might need to borrow that one
Yuck on the mudslide!
Well done.
lol….perfect list!! man i can’t think of any of our funny momfinitions…i’m too tired! i’ll get back to you on that one!
Goggy froggies, oh yes! Where is your time out post frantic mommy? You linked up but I couldn’t find it.
The hubs and I refer to them as DWK’s (damn weiner kids – A Simpson’s reference) Does that count?
want to be featured as this mama rocks blog of the week this saturday? send me an email at thismamarocksblog@gmail.com
Aaaahahaha! “Lost in the woods” and “Releasing the beast!” -yup!
Hey, thanks for the comment love,too! I look forward to seeing your shopping cart ;o)
::beaming::
I love this, I’m going to start paying attention and see what ours are.
http://www.beewisebags.com/Bee_Wise_Bags/Bags.inspiration.life./Bags.inspiration.life..html
Walmarting the kids.
Means to wake them up to go into a store after they’ve fallen asleep in their car seats.
As in, “you want to walmart them?”
Hmmm…Let me think on this one!
Girl you must be a contributor to http://www.wordspy.com/
If not they will be heading to you soon.
Hope the kids didn’t get up too early this morning.
you say .99 cents – I say – nothing is ever under $100 anymore! for reals – it is getting crazy!!
lost in the woods – girl you must put those babies to bed at 7 PM!! I do every night they have school – I need me an hour or two for a break!! Otherwise I would NEVER get to speak to my hubbie (not that he can ever take his nose out of his laptop – but a girl can dream)