The Smudge

By on September 7, 2009 in Uncategorized

The other day, my wee newt of a child had a running nose.

When I went over to her and asked if she needed a Kleenex from my pocket (it’s in the Mommy Contract. It’s the line that reads “we pledge to always have tissues in our pockets“) she replied “Yes” and promptly leaned in and wiped her nose on my shirt.

YUM….

Was I mad? NOPE. It’s another part of the Mommy Contract known as The Wearing Of The Smudge.

When your kids are little infants, you will find The Smudge on shoulders of every outfit you own. You might as well get used to this fashion accessory and wear that baby barf like a Badge of Honor cuz honey, it’s gonna be there awhile.

Then you graduate to the Butt Smudge. Butt Smudge comes from sitting down in whatever your Toddler slopped on the front seat of the car or in your favorite easy chair. If you’re lucky, some kind soul will tell you of the Big Giant Butt Smudge before your parade it around in public too much. But the reality is, you won’t discover Butt Smudge until laundry day when you hold up your pants, look at the a$$ end and go “what the heck is THAT??!!”

Thank Gawd for Spray and Wash.

Then comes the glorious years of Shirt Tail Smudge. These are usually muscus driven with an occassional sticky treat thrown in. What Mom isn’t guilty of doing an emergency face wipe with the only handy item…the hem of your shirt. I’ve been even know to (in extreme moments of panic) SPIT on my shirt and wipe faces with that. (gag)

My kid’s are going have immune systems like steel traps.

But be warned: If necessary change your shirt often. There’s been times my hem has gotten so crusty it’s started to stick out in weird directions. I know it’s time for a change when I start looking and feeling like Mr Noodle from Elmo’s World.

But then again, those little sticky-chocolately lip-prints on my clothes are like the kiss of Mommyhood. Like a symbol of pride.

“YES! I AM a Mommy. And I have boogers on my clothes…”

And I cherish that privledge.

And it’s one that I hope I never lose.

Never Miss a Poop Story. Subscribe HERE http://feeds.feedburner.com/blogspot/dpfZp

About Rebecca

Mommy Blogger, WAHM, and Virtual Assistant. Being a mom is The.Best.Thing.Ever and Team Family is #1. I am a veteran blogger who writes for 5 blogs as well as 3 of my own. Franticmommy is a place to share the trials of and tribulations of parenthood, the challenges and inspiration of working home, and the thrill of business ownership. And all with a “give-it-to-me-straight” style and a healthy dose of humor.
View all posts by Rebecca →

14 Responses to The Smudge

  1. Pam September 8, 2009 at 9:04 pm #

    Ok, this is one thing I don’t miss now that my girls are old enough to wipe their own noses. LOL!

    Reply
  2. MiMi September 8, 2009 at 11:13 pm #

    I have come up with a new thing. If we could freeze em at 3 and keep em itty bitty forever…
    But 3 is good because by then they can wipe their own butts…usually. So 3 is good.
    I am proud of my mommy smudges. :)

    Reply
  3. BunnoGal September 9, 2009 at 12:10 am #

    Funny you should post about this today. This morning my 3.5 year old son ran up to me wanting a hug then as he was letting go he wiped his nose down the front of my shirt. lol.

    Reply
  4. Tammy Howard September 9, 2009 at 5:43 am #

    Ah, the mommy badge… yeah.

    Very warm and fuzzy post. About boogers. You’ve got a talent there…

    Reply
  5. Kathy B! September 9, 2009 at 11:23 am #

    Nothing like rubbing your crusty sleeve absent-mindedly across your face!

    Blech! My kids are forever wiping stuff on me. Still.

    Reply
  6. Momma Hunt September 9, 2009 at 12:12 pm #

    I totally hear that when me son has the runny nose I prefer not to wear black since the stains are more noticable!

    Reply
  7. Jeve (aka John and Steve) September 10, 2009 at 4:55 am #

    I can’t wait to wear boogers one day!

    Reply
  8. AB HOME Interiors September 10, 2009 at 12:03 pm #

    Wow you are wearing your mommy contract well. And with such pride. But what we do without our mommys? They make everything just better. Even if they do have butt smudge, snot and ‘Eh! whats that?’ on them. They are mommies so they have right of passage and way cool diaper bags that double as COOL laptop bags.

    Reply
  9. Mammatalk September 10, 2009 at 5:22 pm #

    Always glad to hear I am not alone!

    Reply
  10. MoxieMamaKC September 11, 2009 at 8:43 am #

    “YES! I AM a Mommy. And I have boogers on my clothes…” That’s hilarious and SO true. I’ll never forget my daughter puking on me as I lifted her out of her car seat on Easter Sunday morning a few years ago. Miraculously, she completely missed herself…what’s motherhood without a little snot, puke, pee and poop?

    Reply
  11. Alicia September 11, 2009 at 11:22 am #

    lol i LOVE it!! so true!! i love at the end of the day when i’m changing and i look at my stained clothes wondering how long i’ve been walking around with spit up dribbled down my back!!!

    Reply
  12. Kristin September 12, 2009 at 3:02 pm #

    I am “smudged” on a daily basis. Pre-bambino stains drove me bonkers. Post-bambino…not so much. Happy Saturday Sharefest!

    Reply
  13. Chanda September 12, 2009 at 9:47 pm #

    Snot and boogers from my 3 year old, snot and drool from my 1 year old, and the occasional breast milk leak. Yep, I am a mama. And you bet I’ve wiped a nose or two with my bare hand and wiped it off on my jeans! LOL!

    Reply
  14. Hillori September 13, 2009 at 10:04 pm #

    that is SO my life right now….I wouldn’t change it for anything! So well written–I was blog-stalking and found your blog, very funny!

    Reply

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge



The other day, my wee newt of a child had a running nose.






When I went over to her and asked if she needed a Kleenex from my pocket (it's in the Mommy Contract. It's the line that reads "we pledge to always have tissues in our pockets") she replied "Yes" and promptly leaned in and wiped her nose on my shirt.


YUM....



Was I mad? NOPE. It's another part of the Mommy Contract known as The Wearing Of The Smudge.



When your kids are little infants, you will find The Smudge on shoulders of every outfit you own. You might as well get used to this fashion accessory and wear that baby barf like a Badge of Honor cuz honey, it's gonna be there awhile.


Then you graduate to the Butt Smudge. Butt Smudge comes from sitting down in whatever your Toddler slopped on the front seat of the car or in your favorite easy chair. If you're lucky, some kind soul will tell you of the Big Giant Butt Smudge before your parade it around in public too much. But the reality is, you won't discover Butt Smudge until laundry day when you hold up your pants, look at the a$$ end and go "what the heck is THAT??!!"


Thank Gawd for Spray and Wash.


Then comes the glorious years of Shirt Tail Smudge. These are usually muscus driven with an occassional sticky treat thrown in. What Mom isn't guilty of doing an emergency face wipe with the only handy item...the hem of your shirt. I've been even know to (in extreme moments of panic) SPIT on my shirt and wipe faces with that. (gag)



My kid's are going have immune systems like steel traps.


But be warned: If necessary change your shirt often. There's been times my hem has gotten so crusty it's started to stick out in weird directions. I know it's time for a change when I start looking and feeling like Mr Noodle from Elmo's World.


But then again, those little sticky-chocolately lip-prints on my clothes are like the kiss of Mommyhood. Like a symbol of pride.



"YES! I AM a Mommy. And I have boogers on my clothes..."

And I cherish that privledge.


And it's one that I hope I never lose.



Never Miss a Poop Story. Subscribe HERE http://feeds.feedburner.com/blogspot/dpfZp