The Uncool Mom

I wear my uncoolness like a badge of honor. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear Huey Lewis wrote “Hip To Be Square” bout lil ol me. Why am I uncool? Ohhh…let me count the ways!

I AM UNCOOL BECAUSE:

*I will NOT let my 6 year-old play bloody/graphic videos games with the older boy at daycare. And WOW, what a big unpopular dork that makes me.

*I am the Mom tries to pack healthy school lunches instead of expensive prepackaged junk food. I’d rather spend a few extra minutes packing a lunch that I know will get eaten, then have a famished kid at 4:00 because “the cafeteria hotdish looked like snot, Mom”.

* I am the weirdo that goes into a coffee shop and tells the waitress I want “a plain o black coffee”. If I’m feeling saucy that day, I’ll order it with flavored creamer and TWO sugars.

*I am brutally honest. If you’re being rude to me or my family, I’ll tell ya.

*I sometimes wear pants with stretchy waistbands. If I have to trapped in these damn pants all day, I’d better be comfy. I don’t even wear Mom Jeans. They are just too…too..CONFINING.

*I don’t believe in muffin tops, low rider jeans with my thong (like I’d EVER wear a thong)sticking out the top, and “free-boobin-it” with no bra under my tank top. I couldn’t bear to look at myself in that stuff, why would I subject others to it as well?

*I’d rather hang with my family than spend 4 hours an evening on Facebook or Twitter. Sorry, no FarmTown ,or “what movie star are you most like” surveys for this chick. I’m just weird that way. And I still have no idea how to Retweet.

So I am uncool. Check with my kids in about 10 years and I am sure they will second the motion. But you know what? That’s ok. Cuz I just heard uncool is the “new cool”!

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About Rebecca

Mommy Blogger, WAHM, and Virtual Assistant. Being a mom is The.Best.Thing.Ever and Team Family is #1. I am a veteran blogger who writes for 5 blogs as well as 3 of my own. Franticmommy is a place to share the trials of and tribulations of parenthood, the challenges and inspiration of working home, and the thrill of business ownership. And all with a “give-it-to-me-straight” style and a healthy dose of humor.

21 Responses to The Uncool Mom

  1. Housewife Savant August 16, 2009 at 5:26 am #

    You’ve taken uncool to a whole ‘nother level – coolness.

  2. Chanda August 16, 2009 at 7:21 am #

    I think most of the reasons you listed as not cool actually make you pretty cool!

  3. Tabitha@ichoosebliss August 16, 2009 at 8:10 am #

    If you’re uncool then I know I’m in that category, because you Rock to me!

  4. Pam August 16, 2009 at 8:30 am #

    I’m totally “uncool” as well. And I have two teens who are more than happy to vouch for me on that! LOL!

  5. Mammatalk August 16, 2009 at 10:43 am #

    Your first sentence did it for me!

    I love your humor.

  6. MiMi August 16, 2009 at 2:10 pm #

    What is Retweet? I don’t twitter or whatever you say when you twitter, so I have no clue.
    I love uncool people, perhaps because I’m uncool myself. :)

  7. Stesha August 16, 2009 at 4:09 pm #

    You are the cooliest weird person I know.

    By the way, what do you pack your kids for lunch? I’m trying to pack healthy lunches too.

    Hugs and Mocha,
    Stesha

  8. Michele August 16, 2009 at 4:15 pm #

    Is there an “Uncool Mom’s Club” for people like us? I don’t let my kids watch most TV shows…they’ve never seen The Bachelor or American Idol or Hannah Montana and I don’t consider them deprived in the slightest. I think “American Cheese” is insulting to America because there is nothing wholesome or nutritious about it…and will only let my kids have cheese without artificial colors. Oh, and I say “totally” all the time, according to my kids who are appalled that I speak “eighties.”

    Truthfully, the things that are supposedly cool are things in which I’m rarely interested, so why should I do things in which I am not interested so people think I’m someone I’m not? Complete waste of a life if you ask me.

  9. Alyssa N Ryder's Mama August 16, 2009 at 4:51 pm #

    I’m uncool to auntie, I love being that way atelast someday my kids will appreciate it. I know this cause I appreciate my mom being uncool..now 25yrs later. lol all in good time. I went to park the other day and was putting sun block on kids and this mom said “all you young mom geesh, you should let you kids get some sun and color.” ok my age has nothing to do with it, i’d rather keep my kids safe from cancer, so I don’t care if they are paley white, atleast they are healthy

  10. Yaya August 16, 2009 at 7:14 pm #

    Healthy lunches?? *gasp!

    ;)

  11. FranticMommy August 16, 2009 at 7:50 pm #

    oh! oh! oh! I forgot one! (Michelle made me think of it). I say un-hip Mom things like “totally” and my personal fav “way-cool”…which as I type it looks just as dorky as it must sound from my uncool 43 year-old lips!

  12. BunnoGal August 16, 2009 at 8:49 pm #

    I think we are all showing our uncoolness but we are mums so I think thats a given.

    In Australia the new word for cool is hectic. I’m so not with the times. I think I will always say things are cool or not cool.

  13. Tammy Howard August 16, 2009 at 9:54 pm #

    Uncool people are the coolest!
    (and I am SO with you on the comfy pants…)

  14. Alicia August 17, 2009 at 1:42 am #

    whatever! you’re so cool it’s insane how cool you are! and i don’t have a facebook or tweet account either… i’d much rather sit my lazy arse on the couch and watch cash cab!

  15. 2Shaye ♪♫ August 17, 2009 at 1:37 pm #

    Oh darling, I loooove your uncoolness!

    And quick note on retweet, I only signed up for Twitter like a week ago (so not an expert here or anything…still barely makin’ my way). But I downloaded TweetDeck after a few friends tweeted about it and everything is SOOO much simpler. And when someone posts something, you can mouse over their picture and there are four options–one of the options is re-tweet so it instantly re-posts what they said. That way you’re advertising whatever they said for them. And now that I typed all of this I’m thinking that maybe you didn’t really want to know and now I feel so silly and even more of an uncool mom. LOL

    Oh well…at least I’m used to it.

    Have a fabulous week!

    ~2Shaye

  16. FranticMommy August 18, 2009 at 4:26 am #

    FINALLY! The mysteries of the ReTweet solved! Thanks Shaye! :)

  17. Jen August 19, 2009 at 11:44 am #

    I am so there with you on this whole ‘uncool’ thing. Glad to know its now cool.

  18. Heidi August 19, 2009 at 5:47 pm #

    I’m uncool too.

    I am so with you on wearing a bra. What is with these ladies without support??

  19. Kathy B! August 19, 2009 at 8:53 pm #

    I think your “uncoolness” makes you a fabulous mother and role model. I think you have perfectly identified the fact that being “cool” means being happy and comfortable with who you are and what truly makes you happy.

    This post ROCKS.

  20. Mighty M August 26, 2009 at 3:45 pm #

    You sound a lot like me, so you MUST be pretty darn cool. No, you must be FANTASTIC! ;-)

  21. Still Growing January 6, 2010 at 10:23 pm #

    Just remember, if your kids think you’re cool, you’re doing something wrong! So you are on the right path!
    http://www.uncoolmom.com

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